All Done Monkey

Have you ever taught your innocent, doe-eyed child something that was just flat out wrong? I’m not talking about something immoral or unwise (such as eating raw cookie dough – oops!) That’s a topic for another post.

I’m talking about something just plain factually wrong. No arguments. No philosophical discussion. Just plain wrong.

I had this moment recently. For some reason, I had taught my sweet child, who accepts whatever I tell him as the Truth, that the objects below were maracas. Yes, that’s right: maracas, when in fact, as most of you already have realized, they are castanets.

These are not maracas.

We persisted in our error until one of my little Monkey’s aunties gave him some actual maracas. I had a moment of panic. Now what? How would he take it when I called his new toys “maracas,” too?

Luckily, my little boy has come to accept ambiguity as part of life – after all, sometimes it’s okay to put food in your mouth (when it’s on your plate) and sometimes not (when it’s been on the floor for a few days). Sometimes it’s okay to stand on the table (when Mommy isn’t paying attention) and sometimes it’s not (when Mommy notices).  Sometimes his favorite drink is called “juice” (when talking with Mommy), and sometimes it’s called “jugo” (when talking with Daddy). So why not two different toys called maracas?

These are maracas.

So accepting the “new” maracas was not a problem, although he still calls the “old” maracas by the same name, despite by best efforts at re-branding. I had more success teaching him that the “owl” sound I had been making since he was a baby was actually a dove. (Turns out that I am miserable at imitating owls but really good at imitating mourning doves). Maybe with time…

Have you ever taught your child something factually wrong? Has it scarred him or her for life?? Please let me know!

At least give him a few minutes.  Seriously, Leanna.

It is, however, at times okay to pick your son’s nose even when he is protesting, because you are his mother and know best, and it will be a long time before he will be able to blow his nose.  (Although, at two years old, he does know how to pick his nose already.  He’s just not quite as good at it as you are).

Lately I have been thinking a lot about personal space.  Mothers are notorious for not respecting their children’s personal space, in large part because, well, they literally came out of ours!  Mothers often identify so much with their little ones that it is hard for us to remember, especially in the early years, that they are distinct beings with their own rights.  And noses.

After all, how many times have you caught yourself saying, “Okay, time to change our diaper!”?  Our diaper?  Really?  (Although, thanks perhaps to inadequate Kegel exercises, this day isn’t really so far away).

So where do we draw the line?  I don’t think it’s okay to let little ones make all their own choices about their bodies – diapers do need to be changed and naps do need to be taken – but at the same time I can relate to not wanting someone else’s fingers up in my nasal cavities when I’m just drifting out of dreamland.

Then again, those fingers belong to the same person who has given up spot on the bed, her place at the kitchen table, and (frequently) her dignity sanity for me, so maybe the invasion of privacy goes both ways.

What are your thoughts?  How do we respect our children’s personal space?  What is age appropriate?